Top Notch Toys August 2019

FROM THE EXECUTIVE EDITOR EMERITUS Joseph Neil McGinnis III

Young, eager Novitiate (let’s think of it as Junior Prayerman- ship) Mary Katharine wished to join the Convent of Perpetual Peace. During the admissions in- terview, Mother Superior—the Catholic version of a Queen Bee—greeted her warmly but then said, "Mary Katharine, this is a silent household. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak un- less directed to do so." A quick learner, Mary Katharine nodded assent; she was accepted. BALANCE: how to arrange the check- book so your significant other, non-dog- gy, will not know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom or garage behind locked doors. And so it began. Mary Katharine lived quietly in the convent, em- bracing her lessons in becoming a Nun. Then one day Mother called her in. "Mary,” she said, “you have been here for five years. You may now speak two words." Mary Katharine replied, "Hard bed." COAT: hairy covering of a dog that usual- ly falls out oneweek before theNational. DAM: a) a lady dog with children; b) an expression frequently overheard ringside. ELBOW: method of getti g to the stew- ard for an armband when late to the ring. EXPRESSION: Sweet, loving look on your dog’s face which you think is for you, but is actually for the chunk of bait in your pocket. FANCIER: degree to which some ex- hibitors dress more than others. FEATHERING: what winners are ac- cused of doing to judges’ nests. "I'm sorry to hear that," Mother Superior responded. "We will get a Nun. Then one day Mother called her in. "Mary,” she said, “you have been here for five years. You may now speak two words." Mary Katharine replied, "Hard bed." Young, eager Novitiate (let’s think of it as Junior Prayerman- ship) Mary Katharine wished to join the Convent of Perpetual Peace. During the admissions in- terview, Mother Superior—the Catholic version of a Queen B e—greeted her warmly but then said, "Mary Katharine, this is a silent household. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak un- l ss directed to do so." A quick learner, Mary Katharine nodded assent; she was accepted. And so it began. Mary Katharine lived quietly in the convent, em- bracing her lessons in becoming I hate to utter those dr aded words in a fun magazine like TNT ut the fact remains: summer’s almost over. Oddly enough, I never minded going back to school because a) I liked school and b) I carried my summer spirit with me year-round. (Still do.) But in keeping with the spirit of t e season, I wax di- dactic this month. The following lessonwill serve to exam- ine our sport in a ew light. Not : pay at- te tion. ThereWILL be test. DOG FANCIER’S DICTIONARY ANGULATION: degree to which we will bend o r backw rds to impress the judges. BACK TO SCHOOL… BITCH: a) aword used to describe a lady dog; b) activity i dulged in, in the groom- ing area; c) word oft n heard ringside, not always to describe a lady dog.

SOMETIMES ONE JUST HAS TO LAUGH. This month’s been rough on all of us; we lost some truly beloved friends. In honor of their smiles and the smiles they put on the faces of others, I felt we could benefit from a little mirth. Having been raised a Catholic, I know the value of prayer. Having been a long-time breeder and exhibitor of purebred dogs, I know the value of praying really hard . And having been a publisher for over thirty-six years, I know the value of interjecting humor into a life spent in serious pursuit of difficult goals. So, lumping everything to- gether, I share with you one of my all-time favorite stories. You don’t have to be Catholic to get it, but if you don’t get it...we need to talk. SOMETIMES ONE JUST HAS TO LAUGH. This month’s been rough on all f u ; we lost some truly beloved friends. In hon r of their s iles and the smiles they put on the faces of others, I felt we could benefit from a little mirth. Having been raised a Catholic, I know the value of prayer. Having been a l ng-time breeder and exhibitor of purebred dogs, I know the value of praying really hard . And having been a publisher for over thirty-six years, I know the value of interjecting humor into a life spent in serious pursuit of difficult goals. So, lumping everything to- gether, I share with you one of my all-time favorite stories. You don’t have to be Catholic to get it, but if you don’t get it...we need to talk.

you a better bed." After another five years, Mary Katharine again received the supreme summ ns. "Hap y tenth Anniversary,” Mother Supe- rior said. “Today you may say another two words." "Cold food," said Mary Katharine, and Mother Superior assured her that in the future the f od would indeed be hot. PUPPIES: small, dog-like food-pro- cessing machines with the ability to mess up an entire house and collective- ly utshout a ba of magpie . These creature have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky plumbing. They can also be extr m ly dangerous to adoring humans and their bank ac- counts. Original author unknown, but thanked; slight edits/additions by yours truly. On her 15th anniversary at the convent, Mary Katharine was once again called to Mother Su- perior’s office. “Congratulations on 15 years of Silent Prayer and Service,” Mother Superior said. “In honor of your successful ef- forts to grow into a rue Servant of the Lord, today you may say two more words." "I quit!" said Mary Katharine. "It's probably for the best," Mother Superior observed. "You've done nothing but bitch since you got here." As any dog fanci rs knows, if we’re smart, we never quit learning. With eyes and mi ds open we can continue to give these great canines and this sport the white-glove treatment they so richly deserve. KENNEL: a) where you go whenever there’s a domestic disturbance at home; b) what very often used to be called the “garage”. LITTER: trash left all over the build- ing and parking lot after a dog show (shame!). MASK: what to wear when you have to show th pet you sold six months ago. MUZZLE: what to put on your kids at dog shows to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him or her last night. NOSEPRINTS: cutemarks left all over the French doors. OUTCROSSING: What your partner tells theminister you are doing out in the kennel wit the stud dog and the bitch. POINTS: minut , in isibl credits for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes (or groceries). We here at TNT wish you good luck in the ring, in the whelping box, and in the living room. Until next month, re- member: TNT Magazine wishes you All The Best!

FROM THE EXECUTIVE EDITOR EMERITUS Joseph Neil McGinnis III

you a better bed." After another five years, Mary Katharine again received the supreme summons. "Happy tenth Anniversary,” Mother Supe- rior said. “Today you may say another two words." "Cold food," said Mary Katharine, and Mother Superior assured her that in the future the food would indeed be hot. On her 15th anniversary at the convent, Mary Katharine was once again called to Mother Su- perior’s office. “Congratulations on 15 years of Silent Prayer and Service,” Mother Superior said. “In honor of your successful ef- forts to grow into a true Servant of the Lord, today you may say two more words." "I quit!" said Mary Katharine. "It's probably for the best," Mother Superior observed. "You've done nothing but bitch since you got here."

Photo taken at the Poodle Club of Amer- ica National Specialty, Purina Farms, Gray Summit, Missouri, April 18, 2019, by Brian Cordova.

We’re truly blessed living in our cozy, dog-loving cloister of sorts, often ignoring the cacophony and chaos with which non-dog-lov- ing folks are afflicted. Or from which they don’t get the canine comfort and companionship of we who do. I hope your June is peaceful, cool and quiet, and that We’re truly blessed living in our cozy, dog-loving cloister of sorts, often ignoring the cacophony and cha s with which non-dog-lov- ing f lks are afflicted. Or from which they don’t get the canine comfort and companionship of we who do. I hope your June is peaceful, cool and quiet, and that HEEL: a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you just sold to an eager novice b) expre sion often screamed to att act the attention of deaf-acting dogs. HEIGHT (as in “maximumallowed”): a me surem nt under which all champi- ons fall by at least 1/8 of an inch. your dogs provide a respite from the rigors of outside life. I know mine do, and I bet that yours do, too. Until next month, always remember: He (or She) Who Lives with the most Toys Wins. HOCK: away of financing your dog show hobby by the use of jewelry such as wed- ding rings or gifts frommother-in-law. your dogs provide a respite from the rigors of outside life. I know mine do, and I bet that yours do, too. Until next month, always re ember: He (or She) Who Lives with the most Toys Wins. "I'm sorry to hear that," Mother Superior responded. "We will get

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