AN AFFENPINSCHER IN YOUR HOME? by Linda Pollack, Columnist, Affenpinscher Club of America GET READY!
I nviting an Affenpinscher into your home is akin to inviting a willful, in- telligent being from another planet to take up permanent residence within your walls, and within your heart. The “Affen” makes his or her needs known from the very begin- ning of your relationship. You’d bet- ter catch on quickly that the Affen is more humanoid, with more personal- ity, than one would imagine possible from a monkey-like creature that weighs less than ten pounds. Having had the good fortune to own wonderful dogs of all sizes and breeds, I learned within a few days of getting my Chloe that you don’t own an Affen, he or she owns you. You either relin- quish your alpha position for the joy of seeing the pleasure it gives the Affen to feel in charge, or you resign your- self to a lifetime of power struggles. Regardless of your decision, the Affen will take complete control. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs from Psych 101, the motiva- tional theory that is diagrammed like a pyramid with needs (physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization) positioned like rungs on a ladder? The theory was meant to address human needs, but since Affens are the most human dog you’ll ever meet, the pyramid is use- ful in understanding what matters to them. Almost 12 years of relatively constant contact has taught me a lot about having an Affen in your home, but Chloe still teaches me every day.
And she has taught me that for Affens, the Hierarchy of Needs pyramid is completely upside down. SELF-ACTUALIZATION Knowing that its adorableness will ensure that all basic needs are always met, the Affen is most concerned with self-actualization. The Affen wants to achieve full potential in everything. This dog doesn’t just want to be the best version of him or her self, but the best dog possible. Such desire doesn’t come across as a wish to please so much as a desire to outshine all other dog relationships you have—or will ever have had. ESTEEM The Affen, born with high self-es- teem, takes his or herself very seri- ously. He or she wants to be respected for strength, despite not being exactly strong. Sturdy? Well, that depends. Agile? Oh yes! Stamina and endur- ance? Yes, depending upon what the situation requires and for how long it is required. But strong? Those little legs are about the size of a thick pencil and the little head slightly larger than a golf ball. I would say an Affen is the opposite of strong—except in person- ality. However, the Affen is complete- ly unaware of any physical discrepan- cies in the strength department. With a few well-timed barks, he or she can project an aura of fierceness sufficient to make a dog ten times its size quiv- er. But barking is reserved only for
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