WHAT’S IN A NAME
by Jude Daley
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B reeding is not for the faint of heart. It’s for the truly commit- ted. I mean really, really com- mitted as much as the pig is truly committed in the making of a ham and egg sandwich. Truly committed. (The chicken is just involved.) Don’t even think you can “dabble” in breed- ing. Not even once. You’re in or you’re out. Once you’ve bred your bitch there’s no going back. And thework it takes just tobreedyour bitch?Yikes? I live inNewHampshire. I’ve traveled to California, North Car- olina, Montana, and Winnipeg, Can- ada. If a three or four hour drive (one way) was possible, I did it. I’ve been to New York, Maine, Pennsylvania (actually that one was seven hours), Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Mas- sachusetts for two-to-three breedings. Each breeding requires another round trip. I’ve driven through tornadoes, floods, blizzards and, in one instance, I found myself and my bitch alone on a major interstate highway that had been closed due to statewide weather emergencies. None of these trips were easy or inexpensive. Getting thebitch to the right location is actually the easiest part. Upon arrival, “The Deed” has to be done. I’ve had to restrain some girls who just want to rip the face off their future husband. Some want no part and will not, abso- lutely no way, cooperate. Other times, I have had very, very willing girls and a boy who won’t look twice at her. One boy kept snapping at the girl as if to say; “You’re not my type. At all.”
Plan B has to kick in here—AI, or ar- tificial insemination, or “assist the idiots” as I have been known to refer to the process. I am so blessed to have had the most expert advice in the art of this method. And let me just tell you, don’t think you can just “figure it out” on your own. You cannot. These are dogs, not people, and things are just a teensy bit different. Back to my mentors: Did I mention that they happen to be two very gentle- manly andpatient gaymen?Theywere awesome. I now consider myself to be an expert in the process and, to date, have had only one miss. That was due to the bitch having a medical problem (read: expensive, expensive, and time consuming to cure). Oh, and there’s themalewho suddenly became sterile. There’s a topic for a whole new article. With this Plan B, I have to carry with me all the necessary tools (customs in Canada can be brutal). I’ve used kitchen tables, kitchen counter tops, bureaus in hotels, bathroom floors, hotel beds, RV beds, living room sofas and chairs, and once I actually got to use a grooming table. And there are stories to be told about every “adven- ture,” but not now. Getting back on topic—If I can’t travel there, I have the semen shipped. I have had semen shipped from places as far away as NewMexico and Alabama, to name just two. Shipping semen is no bargain. The stud dog’s vets charge me for collection, preparation, and the actual FedEx shipping. I also have to pay for, the very very large carton
...AI, OR ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION, OR “ASSIST THE IDIOTS” AS I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO REFER TO THE PROCESS. I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE HAD THE MOST EXPERT ADVICE IN THE ART OF THIS METHOD. AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU, DON’T THINK YOU
CAN JUST “FIGURE IT OUT” ON YOUR OWN. YOU CANNOT. THESE ARE DOGS, NOT PEOPLE, AND THINGS ARE JUST A TEENSY BIT DIFFERENT.
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40 • T op N otch T oys , O ctober 2021
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