Top Notch Toys December 2018


9. Your National is always scheduled two days ahead of your most promis- ing puppy’s six-month birthday. 10. Your dog will totally blow coat one week before the National, and after you have paid for hotel, airline, ban- quets, etc. 11. The day you say, “If Buffy doesn’t do something today, off to a pet home she goes!”, she wins a five point ma- jor. Of course she never wins another point and all the pet homes have fall- en off the face of the earth. 12. And, we all know about the now neutered puppy we sold as a pet and the littermate we kept as a show prospect. 13. If your dog does better as a fol- lower, you will always be forced to be first in line. “IF YOUR DOG DOES BETTER AS A FOLLOWER, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FORCED TO BE FIRST IN LINE.”

14. And of course, if your dog does best at the front of the line, someone will have already beaten you there. 15. The judge you didn’t enter under because he hates you/your dogs/your new hair style/whatever draws an overload and your favorite judge in the entire world picks up the overload. 16. Whenever the group judge is one that adores your dog, the breed judge will be the one that told you to pet your dog out. (But, if you don’t enter, refer to rule 15.) 17. A particular judge always puts up the dog for Best of Winners unless YOUR dog goes Winners Dog and there is only a major in bitches. 18. When you enter a small show that normally has no Specials, five of the top ten dogs in the country will be there. 19. If you do win an easy breed at PoDunk, NoWhere, you will then learn that a dozen top dogs and their handlers have flown in from the fur- thest corners of the country and they’re all in the Toy Group. 20. If you win the Group, you will discover that the BIS judge’s all time favorite dog has just won it’s group and the BIS judge has already given it several BIS.

1. After trying forever to obtain that elusive second major, you have no problem getting the third major the next day. 2. The novice people that enter every show and drive 8 hours even if you show at 8am will not show up on the day that it is exactly a major. 3. If you try to build a major, the stuffer will win. 4. Your dog needs a major to finish. You drive 12 hours to a three-day cir- cuit to discover the superintendent erred in the count and you are one short of a major—and of course your dog is WD. You go home, as the next two days are not majors. You get a call Monday morning…the super erred again…the following two days were majors and your dog would have prob- ably won, as the judges were great for him. 5. The day you leave your mud boots home because it is the middle of a drought; there will be 12 inches of rain. 6. Although every dog show has doz- ens of vendors, the day you forget your tack box, will be the day the vendors have no show leads. 7. If you go to the trouble of checking out of the hotel before you show, you will not win breed. 8. If you don’t check out of the hotel before you show, you will win breed and there will be no time to go back and check out before the group.

T op N otch T oys , D ecember 2018 • 67

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