FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
I hate to utter those dreaded words in a fun maga- zine like TNT but the fact remains: summer’s over. Oddly enough, I never minded going back to school because a) I liked school and b) I carriedmy summer spirit with me year-round. (Still do.) But in keeping with the spirit of the season, I wax didactic this month. The following lesson will serve to examine our sport in a new light. Note: pay attention. There WILL be a test.
MUZZLE: what to put on your kids at dog shows to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him or her last night. NOSEPRINTS: cute marks left all over the French doors. OUTCROSSING: What your partner tells the minister you are doing out in the ken- nel with the stud dog and the bitch. POINTS: minute, invisible credits for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash priz- es (or groceries). PUPPIES: small, dog-like food-process- ing machines with the ability to mess up an entire house and collectively outshout a band of magpies. These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky plumbing. They can also be ex- tremely dangerous to adoring humans and their bank accounts. Original author unknown, but thanked; slight edits/additions by yours truly. As any dog fanciers knows, if we’re smart, we never quit learning. With eyes and minds open we can continue to give these great canines and this sport the white- glove treatment they so richly deserve. We here at TNT wish you good luck in the ring, in the whelping box, and in the living room. Until next month, remember: TNT Magazine wishes you All The Best!
DOG FANCIER’S DICTIONARY ANGULATION: degree to which we will bend over backwards to impress the judges. BALANCE: how to arrange the checkbook so your significant other, non-dog- gy, will not know howmuch money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom or garage behind locked doors. BITCH: a) a word used to describe a lady dog; b) activity indulged in, in the grooming area; c) word often heard ringside, not always to describe a lady dog. COAT: hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out oneweek before theNational. DAM: a) a lady dogwith children; b) an expression frequently overheard ringside. ELBOW: method of getting to the steward for an armbandwhen late to the ring. EXPRESSION: Sweet, loving look on your dog’s face which you think is for you, but is actually for the chunk of bait in your pocket. FANCIER: degree to which some exhibitors dress more than others. FEATHERING: what winners are accused of doing to judges’ nests. HEEL: a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you just sold to an eager novice b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf- acting dogs. HEIGHT (as in “maximumallowed”): ameasurement under which all champi- ons fall by at least 1/8 of an inch. HOCK: a way of financing your dog show hobby by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings or gifts frommother-in-law. KENNEL: a) where you go whenever there’s a domestic disturbance at home; b) what very often used to be called the “garage”. LITTER: trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show (shame!). MASK: what to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
JOE MCGINNIS, EDITOR EMERITUS
20 • T op N otch T oys , O ctober 2018
Powered by FlippingBook